My Perspective on Marriage

Marriage is supposed to be sacred. Its a religious act and if you can't abide by the rules that govern it, don't get into it.

The problem with today's society is that most people do things because the society says its right and not because we in person think its right. In other words, we literally live our lives the way society says/wants.

I'm going to use marriage as an example and use Nigeria to back my points. I guess its cause I'm Nigerian. ..and I partially don't believe in marriage. I'll explain why  so you don't judge me. I mean I don't even give a "Fish" if you do. Its just my perspective.

In Nigeria, an ideal responsible man is one who has a good job, wife and kid(s) while a responsible woman is one who has a husband and kid(s)

What about the bachelor or bachelorette who is in his/her late 30's or 40's? They are partially accepted in the society but referred to as incomplete just because they haven't said the "I DO" to anyone. Am I Right or Wrong?

I would use our parents as examples because we're in the 21st century and the way things worked back then is totally different from how things work now.

PS: it doesn't have to be my story.
Most of our parents were/are unhappy about how their marriages turned out. I mean we're not kids anymore.. We can definitely tell the difference between happiness and pretense just to please the kids.

A typical Nigerian or maybe African mom (well I can't speak for other countries in Africa so I'll stick to Nigeria) As I was saying, A typical Nigerian mom would stay in a marriage that is like hell just for her kids.. I mean I don't get that... Even when its glaring that she's unhappy she still stays in the marriage hoping God would intervain in the husband or rather just for the kids to have a father figure... I mean I understand the whole father figure gist and all.. But what if the father doesn't give a "Fish" about the kids? Why still hang in there? I don't get it...
 I remember one time.. Many years ago, I asked mom why she dint get a divorce and she said her dad told her not to. Keep in mind mom is very educated. She studied accounting in Boston and moved back to Nigeria to get married. She's a beautiful, well educated smart lady that know's her right. Never seen a human as patient as she is my whole life.

As I was saying, she said her dad told her not to get a Divorce after 5 kids. He kept telling her to hang in there, Which she did. All my life, I have never seen this woman happy or loved. The only humans that make her smile, happy and thankful for life are her kids. She keeps apologizing saying "I'm sorry you all don't know what it means for a father to love you. I was the apple of my father's eyes.. It was a beautiful feeling, I'm sorry." Of cause that hurts but what would you do if the only option you had was accepting your faith.

Dad never sat with us like a father did. He never took us out...I have nothing to show that my dad got me. All I remember was him waking up in the morning and yelling at us all. I mean that was a typical day for us. I always made his tea in the morning so they all thought I was his favorite! Haha, I so wish. We all new none of us were his favorite. We got super excited when he left for work in the morning because we got peace of mind when he leaves the house. He won't return till past 12am sometimes 2am. That was normal for us. In other words the only times we spent with him was in the morning.. Which all he does is yells and at night when he comes home.. When we are all asleep. During the weekends, we get the usually treatment but its usually longer because he leaves home at noon. It was horrible I won't deny that, but we got used to it after all the years.

One day we all asked mom if he was really our dad because we still dint understand how a father treats his children the way we were treated. And she responded saying "what kind of dumb question is that" we all look like him which is enough proof that he is father but it felt like there was something we dint know. I guess there was really nothing. All I know was if he did love us, which I doubt, that was the wrongest of all wrong ways to show it.

Mom was/is dad and mom at the same time. She did everything and all the things a parent would do. I am where I am because of her.

The days she cries because of him was hell for us. We all cried with her. A very painful experience you don't want to experience.
 We even told her to get a divorce and she said what about us. What do you mean what about us? You're not happy here neither are we so why are you putting us in this mystery? She said nothing. All she said was "I hope all of you especially my daughters won't make the same mistake I made"

I asked, were you two ever in love? She responded "marriage is like a dark room, you don't know what's in it till you get in" that made all the sense in the world.

In other words, "pretense" is the key. The probability of a man/woman pretending in a relationship is very high.


Funny how " Women Marry Men hoping they would change and Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed."


I'm going to stop here because I can definitely write a book on this topic based on my perspective.. And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying all marriages end up this way, like i said it's just my perspective and the way i see it.


I just keep hoping for the best for myself.. and remembering " the secret to a successful marriage remains a secret"

 

Heavy Heart

What it means to have a heavy heart?

 When you have so many things going on in your life and there is really no one you can open up to or talk to.

You keep handling situations and issues on your own coz u realize you're  in this world on your own.

 People really dnt knw what you go through. No one can feel ur pains. All they see is ur struggles, tears, and sadness.

Then they try to console u by telln u nt to stress and everything wld be fine. C'mon we know everyth wld b fine.
 We just need someone to tell us something different. Something like an answer to the situation or problem. And since that's impossible, how is the saying " a problem shared is a problem half solved"? Really solved?

I mean it works in some situations but not all.

I have a lame perspective, I agree... And it is, what's the essence of sharing ur problems/issues when it can't be half solved or solved at all. I mean there are some things we go through that no one can really do anything about.


I mean literally all they would do is just pity you. And that i hate.
 I know I have a big problem. Its nt a problem persay, I'll call it a flaw. I keep things to myself too much tht it hurts. It hurts.. I don't know how to open upp and pour out my heart.. I have to be pressured to do so. Apparently, my EX realized that through my blog. I'm sorry, that's just who I am.

How amazing would it be if there was someone who knew u so well to the extent that he/she knew when something was bugging you even though you wore the "everything is just fine" look.

I'm super good at that... I can be laughing, smilling, playing, even acting like I jst won a lottery when I know deep down all isn't ok. Hopefully I find someone like that or better still I learn to open up which is something I'm working on... Its just so hard.

I'm sure a weirdo.

I should be asleep, but I just broke down.. I mean I need to once in a blue moon. That's how I feel relieved :) Hopefully I don't fall sick in the A.M so that I won't have to call off from work.

A friend once said - "God won't put us in situations that we can't handle" that's what I keep telling myself.. So I'm pretty positive that at the end, all would be fine. :)

Pardon me while I rant

Geez, I'm so scared of settling down...I'm not even going to deny that.

Its so bad that I'm scared of getting into a relationship.. I mean I'm dating which is fun but I'm not sure I want any commitment.

I see myself been a single mom sometimes in the future. I know its a bad feeling or assumption but I just can't help it. That's how I feel.

After my break up which I'm not sure I've fully gotten over even though I live in denial... I just dnt want to get into anything else..its been more than a year and sometimes it feels like yesterday. Sometimes I ask myself why I cut it off.. But between the two of us, I had all the reason in the world to. I definitely deserved better... But I'm not going into that story. Too much drama. Definitely not caught up.

Its funny how those who live in denial know the truth but chose to live in a lie (I don't want to use the word pretense)

I remember the day my mom called my sis n I and said "Don't ever manage in any relationship because if you manage at an early age what would you do when you're married Also, never lead any man on"

We figured she was talking from experience.

Its been years, and up till now she says the only mistake she made in her life and regrets was marrying my dad. I mean that's pretty harsh but trust me its the truth.

Sometimes I get so mad and I ask God why? Why her, why us...I got no response and kinda figured it all on my own I think. Life is all a risk.

She said marriage is like a dark room and you don't know what's in it till you get in.

This is me ranting. I'm such a scorpio! I'm so secretive and it kills me. When I need to get sth off my mind.. I go take a warm shower and talk to myself till I feel better.

Also, what's the essence of telling people how you feel or what you're going through when there is really nothing they can do about it.  And I hate people pitying me so might as well keep it to myself.

I'm such a man atimes... My pride kills me.

This is the first summer I actually went out of my comfort zone... It was fun! I did so many things nifemi would never do. I guess that's the adventrous part of me.

I'm not from a broken home, but I'm no different. God, I'm so grateful for my mom, I couldn't have asked for a better mom but definitely wished I had a better dad.

Its kind of awkward/weird/strange to me when I see a beautiful relationship btw daughter/son n d father - geez why can't that be me.. But oh well.

Nifemi enough of this rubbish.

Growing up, I wasn't surrounded by people from broken homes but by people who were not happy in their marriages but would not get out of it because of their kids. I was quite a smart child so I knew the difference between happiness and pretense at an early age.

I get the fact that most mothers would rather stay in an unhappy marriage just for their kids to have a father figure..which kind of doesn't make sense to me. Because what about the child? They grow up with a different perspective about life, men and marriage.

It still amazes me how people date.. You know the whole process... The honey moon stage n the rest.. Proposing, marriage, and all of a sudden the monster in the man/woman comes out.
I'm done ranting...I just hard to pour out mind.

Keeping my fingers crossed... I hope i find someone who would force me to talk and I would feel comfortable sharing my stories and pouring out my heard to.. It's really going to be hard that's why my fingers are crossed.

"Don't judge my decisions without understanding my reasons."

BLIND DATE

Okay, today was super duper funny! I went on a BLIND DATE.

I doubt if I'll ever do this again.. But errm, I Love adventure so I'm not going to guarantee myself it won't happen again.

Not going to say how I met this dude, well we never met in person, all we did was send eachother emails then later exchanged numbers.. I mean it was fun texting a  stranger. He sent me his picture and I refused to send mine.. Because I dint want to.

Lil info, he was in the army, originally from Haiti but has been here all his life, and yada yada yada!

One day we were texting and a conversation about  "Five guys Burger" came upp. Never been there but I heard they have the best Burgers Ever!!

He decided to try it and said if it tasted so good, we would have our first date there. I agreed.

He went to five Guys, loved it and couldn't wait to take me there.. This was in June. He went to Haiti got back and we decided to meet at the Five Guys Burger on 43rd and 3rd ave, I agreed.

So, on that faithful day which was today, I was suPposed to run some errands for my mom so I could only spend about an hour and a half with him.

I got off the subway, he already texted me to tell me where he was waiting. When I got close to where he was , I acted like I was on the phone so he won't be suspicious or anyth. Remember he doesn't know what I look like.

I saw him and contemplated running away. I mean he wasn't so bad but definitely not my type. I mean I wasn't looking to see if I could date him or whatever, I just went for the fun of it.. But then.. He was so not my type.

I saw someone wit a very big nose :( (no offense that's the best description I can give) I passed him! Walked almost 2blocks away, then thought about it again.. Then I decided to go meet him.

 We exchanged greetings.. hi, side hugs and all that stuffs, then got into the restaurant. He ordered the food, we ate, spoke .. I mean it wasn't so bad afterall.. I mean I spent almost 2 hours w/ him, and left coz I had to run some errands for my mom.

It wasn't so bad, but I don't think or better still , I'm pretty sure we aint gna see each other after today.

I'm OFF to DC tomorrow, Its definitely going to be fun.

I mean its summer, and I'm single.. Just trying to some fun :)

Summer! Summer!

So, I haven't been up to anything new off late asides trying to have fun.. I mean its summer what else could be better.

So I have been going on different dates and I'm gna be blogging about them.. Definitely not going to go into much details.

Few weeks ago.. I thought this was funny so I'll share it and yes.

 I left my uncles, not sure I remember where I was going to .. I think I was about to catch the bus to my brothers' not too sure. Heaven knowz I was dead hungry that day. The only restaurant that was closest to me was Applebees.. And I was contemplating going there to eat, besides I wasn't w/ enough money, but I could still afford it.

I was walking towards applebees when someone called me.. I seriously though I was hearing double because I was too hungry.. But to my surprise, it was a friend.. This dude tht was trying to talk to me last summer.

Anyways, we got into applebees, we spent almost 3hrs there, caught up on old stuffs, gisted, then he dropped me home... I mean it was fun :)

I mean I thought it was funny in a weird way:)

Because it's "MY" Blog - My last 18 hours

Nike & I

Today has been a combination of weirdness and funniness in a creepy way! 'That makes no sense' but errm it does in my head.

I think its kinda creepy when I'm in the city and unconsciously burst out laughing by myself... I mean I see people give me the "she must be high on crack" look...trust me, I know the look if you don't!

Anyways, I'll share my experience in the past 12 hrs coz I can...
PS: I'm at the subway on 34th st, heading to 48 & park to get the key to the apt frm my brother..

Anyhoos, nike & I went to jersey city lastnight..she has curfew especially when its not weekends. I decided to spend the night at her place!

Her man drops us off, we, hungry as usual and this was around to 12... Good thing everyone was asleep. I go into the kitchen, and her mom jst made this badass amala and ewedu stew! Hehehee, good food I know!

The only problem I have w/ food is eating alone.. I don't like it :( sad thing is most of my friends are trying to lose weight and I kinda feel like its impossible for them to when they're with me coz I eat like a rat.. Sad I know.. I eat everytime and anything... Well not anything per-say.. and I enjoy offering people food.. So imagine someone trying to lose weight hanging out with me :D

So I begged nike to eat amala at almost 12am with me and she cursed me out...telling me I'm evil and heartless...that how could I allow her eat amala at 12am when shez trying to lose weight.. I laughed in my head coz... yeh!  She ended up eating rice.. Erm what's the difference? I even thought she was gna eat bananas or something! tcheew.. She cracks me up, but I love her.

After eating, I called my kinda brother from another mother.. We spoke for almost an hour... Anyways, I'm still in search for his light skinned yoruba girl. In his words, " A girl that can ginger my swagger"

I had an interview d next morning by 10 which was today, I was too lazy to research the company, straighten my hair and pick out what to wear because almighty Amala knocked me out. So I told myself I'll be up by 7am since it takes an hour to get to the office I was gna be interviewed.

I woke up 7:15 thanks to the snooze button, researched about the company till 8, picked out what to wear, ironed, straightened my hair.. This was about 8:30. Jumped into d shower, was out in 20mins, dressed up, then I realized the amala was reacting to my stomach :( I started farting :'(

You know those farts you can't control.. Ɣε̲s o! Since I was running late, I grabbed my stuffs and ran out.

I got on the train, squeezed my small bum together to control the gas that wanted to embarrass me while reading about the company & listening to music on my smart phone.

I took the A train & transferred to the F train. The F train was kinda crowded..

Sometimes, i feel like there is something in me that makes me think of & do the weirdest things ever.. So dis white dude was in front of me and I started admiring his lips..I said to my self "see his pink lips, ehn ehn, only if he could shed some weight...I mean he doesn't look bad, his lips are so small" then I caught this black dude staring at me and I said to myself "he must be a construction worker, ah ah see his muscles, chai, na wa o! He looks ok sha" next thing, this lady & her son gets on the train at canal street only for me to hear 'iwo, joko si bi bai' I looked at them and smiled. I was looking too cooperate, I even put my hand inside my pocket feeling like someone that works on wall street. I wish o... I got off at 34th, walked to the office, was interviewed by two different people. 


The first lady was so sweet, I mean we talked about how people now use acronyms like OMG & d rest.. It was fun...then d 2nd lady said she liked me, loved my portfolio, took me around the office and told me to make sure I sent a thank you note and told me they were interviewing five people and picking three..I mean, I already feel like I got the job.. But that was the same feeling I had after my last 2 interviews... So I guess I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Left the office, went to my brothers office, got the key to the apt because I left mine at nike's and I'm heading to college point... That's home for me.. I'm on the 7 train writing this post...

I mean you don't have to think this post is hilarious like I do... It might be boring to you.. I guess this was what was in my head...afterall, that's the name of my blog :p

"Drive"

-Everyone's life is driven by something-

In my perspective,  the verb "Drive" could mean " to guide, control, or to direct." whether you are driving a car or a nail, or whatever, you are controlling, guiding and directing it at that moment.

The "Big Question" I ask myself is what is the driving force in my life, your life???

As a student, I was driven by pressure, deadlines and priorities i think...on the other hand, some people are driven by a painful memory,a haunting fear or an unconscious belief.  However, there are millions of values, emotions and circumstances that can drive one's life.

Some Common Drives

• Some people are driven by guilt:

They spend their entire lives running from regrets and hiding their shame .Guilt driven people are manipulated by memories. They allow their past to control their future and sometimes unconsciously punish themselves by sabotaging their future. For this reason, most people wonder through live without a purpose.

Yes, we are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it. God's purpose is never limited by our past.

• Some people are driven by resentment

They hold on to their hurts and never get over them. Instead of releasing their pain through forgiveness, they rehearse it over and over in  their minds. Some resentment driven people clam up and internalize their anger while others blow up and explode it onto others. If you ask me, I'll say its unhealthy and unhelpful.

Resentment always hurts you than the person you resent. while your offender has probably forgotten the offence and gone on with life, you continue to swim in your past and drown in pain.

 Your past is the past! Nothing will change it! You are only hurting yourself with your bitterness. For your own sake, learn from it and let it go.

• Some people are driven by fear

Although fear is learned, it maybe a result of a traumatic experience, an unrealistic expectation, one's background/up bringing, and so on.

However, regardless of the cause, fear driven people often miss great opportunities because they're afraid to venture out. Instead they play it safe and avoid risks. Fear is a self-imposed prison. It could be defeated by looking beyond the fear and moving against it with love and faith.

Personally, I love love adventure. I took an outdoor recreation class just for fun and loved hated it. I mean, i loved it when we went hiking, rock climbing and camping... Hated it when i went Kayaking.. by myself. I literally thought I was going to die.. I mean i prayed in all the languages i knew, confessed all my sins and did everything you could imagine. I learnt to paddle 30minutes after my professor said "Femi push the canoe into the river and if you're going left, paddle to the right and if you're going right, paddle to the left. I was so mad, I literally cursed him for the 3 hours I spent paddling. I even got stuck on a rock and on a branch... I mean it was a bitter sweet experience. 

Never again would i go Kayaking.. Good thing i ticked it off my bucket list :)

• Some people are driven with materialism

The desire to acquire becomes the goal of their lives. The drive to  always get more is based on the misconception that having more might make you happier, more important,secure,  and accepted in the society. This is so untrue.

- Possessions only provide temporary happiness because things do not change... we eventually become bored with them and then want a newer, bigger and a better version.

- Your value isn't determined by your valuables. 

- The most common myth about money is "The more money we come across, the more problems we see" - Notorious BIG

• Some people are driven by the need for acceptance

They allow the the expectations of others control their lives. Others are driven by peer pressure, always worried about what others think and say about them. Unfortunately, those who follow the crowd always gets lost in it.

I'm definitely sure I do not know all the keys to success but one key to failure is "trying to please everyone."

Being controlled by the opinion of others is a guaranteed way to miss one's purpose in life and God's purpose in one's life.

Personal Taste - 2

Quotes From My Favorite Korean Dramas.

• "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get"

• "So much that it feels like the universe will explode, for as long as it takes for the oceans to dry up, so much that i don't care if my soul burns into ashes, I love you" 

• " If the person you love is suffering because of you, would you let her go?"

• "Towards the past or present, I cant be sure... But one thing that i can be sure of is that I like you"

• Humans don't understand the reality of something until its over"

• "If you keep on thinking tomorrows always going to come, you're going to end up in pain. Those who said that they'll do things tomorrow are idiots"

• "Humans have this bad habit of turning to words like 'Never expected' or ' Accidental' whenever anything unfavorable happens"

• "I realized that the regret from not doing something at all is more painful than failure"

• "If one doesn't go face-to-face with it and shuts the door of miracles with his own hands, there is no way you'll receive happiness."

• Humans beings look for reasons when things don't go well, The circumstances, the timing, the weather and the luck. they pull out all these various excuses to console themselves. 'It wasn't supposed to turn out like this' 'If only I could do this over again.' 'Will it really turn out well if you get to do it all over again"

"when destiny comes, you'll know it for sure,

i'm not clear about it, I just know it is so,

A feeling of absolute certainty

of knowing you belong to each other

Thats how it's like

In my eyes, she's all i see"

• " Love doesn't ask you to discard your pride, it's about protecting a person. Don't do this in the future. Don't believe people so easily, don't fall in love so easily, don't forgive easily either. Please, become stronger" 

• "In  the past, I'd look at my friends that were good in math and I'd think, wouldn't love be an easy problem for them to solve too? I'd wonder about that. If love had an equation and you know the solution, maybe we wouldn't hurt each other, maybe we wouldn't misunderstand each other, and maybe we could just love. Don't you think so?"

• "You being by my side is the biggest comfort"

• " A person like you has never waited all day for a phone call from the person you like. Or felt that your heart might burst, just from looking at this person. You could die and come back from the grave and never know. The person who made me feel that way told me to come outside. No matter how wrong he was, I want to hear him out. What can i do? I'm just built like this, so what can i do?"

• I like you, No matter how hard i try not to like you, non matter how hard i try to erase you.... My efforts are so fruitless to the extent that i get angered by it"

• " I don't know when it started either, but now, I can't be without you.

• "Just because you were born male doesn't automatically make you a man. Becoming stronger from losing, yielding even though it is unfair, running away even though it's shameful, overcoming self confidence over time, that's how one becomes a real man"

• "This time i realized that you and I are from different worlds. We met as though in a dream, but now it's time for us to return ton our own worlds."

• "There's already someone I love. She's the first in my life and the rest of my life. She'll be the only one. You still want to marry me?

Personal Taste - 1

No way, I've realized that I've been looking at you

It won't do even if i hate it, stop it, or hide it

It can't go on like this

I will confess that I've fallen for you

You're everywhere in my dream

I know that it doesn't make sense but I love you

I like this sensation, you know how I feel even if we were to fight everyday

You always want it your way but I can accept anything from you, Only you

I'm lonely, my heart's crazy for you and you're the only one i see

No way, I've realized that I've been looking at you

It won't do even if i hate it, stop it, or hide it

It can;t go on like this

I will confess that I've fallen for you

You're everywhere in my dream

I know that it doesn't make sense but I love you

When I'm with you, I don't mind being nervous

I may be a little hasty, but you're the only one who can tell me what to do

I guess my heart was stolen before I knew it and I', missing you all day long

No way, I've realized that I've been looking at you

No way, I've realized that I've been looking at you

It won't do even if i hate it, stop it, or hide it

It can;t go on like this

I will confess that I've fallen for you

You're everywhere in my dream

I know that it doesn't make sense but I love you

Everything's so different , It's too different

I think I am falling in love, be my baby, be my baby

From head to toe, we have nothing in common

Now I wanna know more about you, be my baby, be my baby

No way, I've realized that I've been looking at you 

I'm happy whenever I say your name or look into your eyes

That will do and I want you too

Please say that we're alike

Wherever I see, you are the only one in my eyes

I know that it doesn't make any sense, but I love you

Personal Taste (Theme Song)

I just recently fell in love with Korean shows after my  housemate lured me into watching an episode ... I am now an addict.

"Best"  is a subjective term... But this is one of my favorite songs from the soundtrack of my Favorite Korean shows "Personal Taste" My new found addiction.

I recently just started watching it and it really melts my heart. Love the show, great story line, beautiful drama I must confess.

And yes, I read the subtitles because it is not in English.

Bla! Blaa!! Blaaaa!!!

This world is a very funny place. Life indeed is funny.

I sit at work and think of my life.. of what I have been through up to this point. I am indeed grateful. I have a lot to complain about but then I realize there are so many people going through worse things in this life that all i say is Thank you Lord.

Things seem to be going by so fast. I guess that is what life and growing up is all about. Looking back to when my sister and I use to go out together and pretend to be friends instead of sisters because we are nothing alike.. We did it for the the fun of it I think.

Or when I slapped my immediate younger brother for some reason I don't remember and he said he saw a vision to kill me.Oh my God, I was scared out of my life.. My mom locked me in my room.. Looking back, I thought it was the funniest thing ever.

Between, I would never forget the day my parents traveled out of town which was quite unusual. Sooo this dude that claimed he liked me came to pick me up because I told him i was hungry. He took me to sweet sensation bought food for my sister and I. After that, he wanted us to chill inside his car alone.. Then o.. I think I was less than 15 then or so.. Not so sure.. Hmm, i trust my sister, when she realized I came back with food, she just came to knock on the window of the car, that i needed to come in and my mom was back.. All was a lie.. we just wanted free food.

That was then though, We are all grown  now

Note from by Internship Supervisor <3

There are so many things going through my head.Which is really normal for me. I sit, laugh, joke and make fun of people while so many things go through my head. Thank God for the smile He keeps putting on my face.

When I grow up, I WILL write a book about Life in the perspective at which I grew up. And I want to make an impact in the society and make a difference in the lives of so many.. God willing and sparing my life.

Some years from now, what I have been thinking about is... going to china on vacation.. I mean when i get a job after grad.. which is less than a month from now. I want to treat my mom to China.. It's going to be we the girls.. my sis, mom and I.

I know my brothers would almost kill themselves when it comes to pass.. but too bad they are not women.

I dream big. That is who I am. I take advantages of every opportunity i have. Life indeed is too short... more so if the world is flat, why not make it your playing ground.


Bla!! Blaa!! Blaaa!!!

I have to get back to work. :)

Why Are You Married?

I still don't understand why married men cheat or rather have kids outside.... I mean i still don't get the logic behind it... You have a beautiful wife even if she's not beautiful il assume your love was blind... and wonderful children.

You're successful or better still comfortable... with all of that, why would some men have kids outside knowing on the long run he would be in for a big trouble.. Well he may not care if his wife finds out or he might, and claim it was a mistake and all... But i still don't get that...

You date a lady, you love her, you propose saying you want to spend the rest of your life with her.. and along the line.. I'll assume the love grows sour and you decide to keep a concubine outside. Then she begins to raise a child for you.

I wonder if these men ever think..How do they expect their wives to react to the situation?  once a man starts having kids outside.. thats just the height of betrayal, deception, double dealing, treason, let-down, perfidy, and the list goes on.

 Let us imagine if the tables were turned around.. if the men where in the women's shoes? How would they react?

How would a man feel if he realizes his wife is living a double life.. Having another husband illegally outside and claiming she works in another state, travels probably Mondays to Wednesdays for the supposed job and claims she works from home on Thursday and Friday.. How would the man feel? Or if the child the husband was raising wasn't his.. How would he react?

It's pretty annoying that some men think they are super smart.. Only if they knew we women could be smarter... we just decide not to.

It is not as if I've been married before or whatever but...this issue just disturbs me.. because I still don't get
Not like i support it, but i get the idea that married men sleep around once in a while because they say and i quote "You don't want to keep eating the same soup all the time" But Duhh, if you dint want to be eating the same soup or whatever why are you married?

I don't think some men realize that women have the same right as they do in a marriage.. A woman can also decide to mess around and cheat the same way the husband does.. she just chooses not, to protect her dignity and self image.

I'm a very curious human and i enjoy researching about the weirdest things.. I researched about marriage and affair and found 10 reasons why men cheat...I'll blog about it later. After reading, it still dint give enough reason for a married man to cheat on his wife... Sincerely, I really wouldn't care if my husband cheats.. as long as I do not find out because once i do.. its a wrap.

So imagine if you're just dating this dude and he constantly cheats and constantly begs you back.. And you been a fool keeps taking him back hoping he would change.. Dang, some ladies sha! My mom usually says "Do not manage in any relationship because if you do at this young age what would you do when you get married?" Think about it.

Someone Like You

"I heard that you're settled down,

That you found a girl and you're married now,

I heard that your dreams came true,

Guess she gave you the things I didn't give you,

Old friend, why are you so shy?

It ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light,

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,

But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,

I had hoped you'd see my face,

And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over,

Never mind, I'll find someone like you,

I wish nothing but the best for you, too,

Don't forget me I beg,

I remember you said,

Sometimes it lasts in love, But sometimes it hurts instead,

You know how time flies,

Only yesterday was the time of our lives,

We were born and raised in a summer haze, 

Bound by the surprise of our glory days,

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,

But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,

I had hoped you'd see my face,

And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over,

Nothing compares,

No worries or cares,

Regrets and mistakes, they're memories made,

Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you,

I wish nothing but the best for you, too,

Don't forget me I beg,

I remember you said,

Sometimes it lasts in love, But sometimes it hurts instead."

--- Adele

I Just recently fell in love with Adele and my favorite song of hers is "Someone Like You." 

Hmmm, where do I start from? I mean where do I start to explain the deep pain and emptiness from an old flame that never lasted....This song explains it all. We can all agree that sometimes we feel a loss and we sometimes never get it back and sometimes get more than we expect.

I think most times, most people has had "Someone like you" in their life. And I can just imagine, listening to this song will definitely bring back memories and old hurts which makes you realize how much love means and how memories have the strongest holds on our heart strings. 

A totally amazing song, though it is not my kind of music. "Someone Like You" is very emotional and you can hear the emotion in Adele's voice, making the song sound very authentic.

 Her vocal is phenomenal.

"Men Lie, Women Lie"

I know common sense isn't common, but we could all agree that a man will think women cheat or lie more because thats's who they deal with.On the other hand, women have relationships with men so of course a woman will think men also cheat and lie more than women.

Everyone does the same thing... Men cheat and lie, so do women.

If you ask me, it really doesn't matter who does what... We always just need someone to point a finger at obviously.

I'm by far not the most perfect person in the world, but I'm just trying to live a life that I won't regret. A life that when I have my twins :D, I would be proud to tell them about my childhood, teenage and adult life affair.

So, if you can't be honest with your partner, friends, or whoever, then you can't be honest with yourself. Lies build up and they only lead to dead ends.. Besides, it take a lot to keep up with them.

I mean, I know this babe who lies like an illterate.. OMG, I mean she lies on top of her her H factor. I have literally concluded that she is either a fool or has taken us for fools... It so bad that I know she is in a world of her own.

....Just tell the truth, they say the truth shall set you free..Easier said than done? I know. But I know (I don't want to use the word Learned) in relationships, "Communications is key" it is a two-way thing between the communicator and the receiver.

 And I totally understan we just have to lie sometimes.. but then, what's the benefit? they say there is nothing hidden under the sun :D (Too much  nigerian movies)

Remember, when you're honest, you dont need so much energy to keep up with them.

I dream of You & I

When I lay on my bed and close my eyes,

My thoughts for you keep running in my heart,

I Long for you.

It was just you and I

We were walking hand in hand,

It was so windy that it began to rain,

Thunder struck, I woke up,

Then I realized it was only a dream

I had a dream,

We were laying on the grass,

Watching the clouds, counting the stars,

You kissed me, till I woke up,

It was only a dream. 

I swear, I hear your voice inside my head,

I can imagine you and I together,

I know it will happen,

I know it is true.

When I dream of you,

I find myself close to your arms,

You are so near to me in my soul.

I had a dream about you,

We were sitting at the park,

Talking about our future,

You beside me and the twins in the middle,

It felt so pure

I had a dream about you,

The cloud was covering the sun,

We both knew what the time was.

But either of was cared to leave

It was all a Dream

I long to meet you

My Thoughts

Everyday I make plans or try to put an effort towards something. Like looking for a job, looking into grad school definitely not thinking of raising  children for now and so on.

I believe Effort + Plan = Success
I guess that's what I want to believe.

I wonder and I ask myself, what's going on in my life? Today, and in the long run?
My very good friend tells me I worry too much.. Come to think of it, if I don't worry for myself, who will? My mom? well she will, but it's my life.

My favorite aunt called me yesterday and one conversation led to another till she said "I was ripe for marriage". In my head I was like "This lady is talking balls" She emphasized that we children of nowadays all we think about is our achievements and we forget that we are incomplete without a man or a woman. Truth I thought.

Sometimes I wonder what life looks like out there in the distant future.. Where do I want to be five years from now? ten years? even two years? what visions do i see springing forth?

Too many questions, no answer.. I agree I worry a lot.




We all agree that we sometimes wonder what the future holds. Some seek out blindly to discovering the future by trusting in horoscopes, tarot card readings and juju (Lol) My little secret: Last summer in New York City, I went to get my palm read. Well, I was glad I did because I checked it out of my to-do list. However, I dint do it to know about my future but for the fun of it...To to my surprise the lady told everything about myself. It was pretty intense and scary.. I cried. :|





Anyways, it's wonderful to know that you don't need to seek any means in attempting to know what the future holds for you. Instead, look to the One who knows exactly where you would be in five years, ten years. I realized he won't lay it out for you.. rather, he will guide you on the steps today that will take you in the direction he wants you to go.


In other words, the dream you have for your future, lay them down before God

"Entrust your efforts to the Lord, and all your plans will succeed" 

10 Funny facts + Guilty Pleasures

1. I almost never answer my phone (very bad habit) but I will text you back almost immediately

2.          I do a little happy dancing when I'm about to eat. I don't even realize i do it either until my house mates point it out.

3.           I love chick flicks and west African movies...West African movies could be boring and hilarious but they put me to sleep 

  

4.             Jnr whoppers and big macs, totally love them.

                                                              

5.      I'm a freak. Yes, I know. Walking is one of my guilty pleasures. I know it shouldn't be because the last time I checked, I was below the normal body fat. I just can't help it. 

6.     Procastinating should be my middle name. I tend to legitimize just checking one more tweet before doing what I really want or should be doing. I'm really working on this one as its a guilty pleasure turned sour.

7.     I can't sleep when there are any sounds around such as TV, music or whatever.. I need it to be quiet round be. I hate noise when i'm about to sleep cause i'm a light sleeper.

8.     I love taking self portraits of myself.

  

9.      Twitter- I cannot help it.. Even if i'm not tweeting, my followers tweets crack me up. I'll rather twitter to facebook